Self portrait stuttering. Oil on board 23 x 31cm. Painting by Paul Aston.
I have a stutter that has helped to shape my life in several ways. Recently I have started to accept my stutter as an integral part of what makes me who I am and feel really happy about it . I've been trying to find positive portraits of stuttering in art history and have drawn a blank so far so I thought I'd make my own. The inspiration came from Giovanni Bellini's 'St. Francis in the Desert' in the Frick collection. In this painting the saints head is thrown back while he receives the stigmata. It has a strangely familiar quality to me - that temporary loss of control over your body which looks similar to the experience of stuttering. I've attempted to create the atmosphere of this temporary loss of control in this piece.
Communication in this mode emphasizes the shared act of constructing, celebrating, and repairing common worlds.Carey famously suggests that communication is here akin to attending religious mass, where the point is not to transmit information but to draw people together in communion—to produce and maintain a shared view of the world through repeated practices. What makes the prayer, chant, and ceremony significant is their function as both social practices and techniques of the self. Through their repetition, we develop collective sensibilities and patterns of perception by which we can build common worlds. —meaning gets enacted in the very midst of unruly bodies that excrete “all levels of expression, from the minute details of discourse—from pitch, emphasis, gesture, head tilts, and eye gaze” (p. 44). Twitching bodies, stuttering tongues, signing fingers, and slurred lips (and all the affect they carry along) are no longer distracting “accidentals,” but the very materiality of communion. —In the mode of transmission, meaning would flee this scene, yet in the mode of ritual, the frozen supplication is a link to the body’s ancient relation to meaning and language, one in which we do not command but must together wait in the unexpected.
- Carey, J. (2009). Communication as culture: Essays on media and society. Routledge.
- Padden, C. (2015). Communication. In R. Adams, B. Reiss & D. Serlin (Eds.), Keywords for Disability Studies (pp. 43-45). New York University Press.
- Constantino, C. (2016). Stuttering gain [Paper presentation]. International Stuttering AwarenessDay Conference. http://isad.isastutter.org/isad-2016/papers-presented-by-2016/stories-and-experiences-with-stuttering-by-pws/stuttering-gain-christopher-constantino/
Effects of Mr. Angry (my stammer) in school
- Tries to make fun of me.
- I know the answer but I don’t want to say it.
- I put in the wrong answer so I don’t get stuck.
- Sometimes act like I am thinking then when I am ready to say it I say it.
- In the yard I don’t do it all because I am not worried about him, just concentrating about what I am playing.
Portrait of Ramdeep Romann stammering. Oil on board 12 x 12 inches. Painting by Paul Aston.
Here are Ramdeep’s thoughts on his life with a stutter and this portrait collaboration.
“I have spent most of my life hiding my stammer, deeply ashamed of how I would be perceived by my peers if I were to block on some dreaded sound. This irrational and toxic fear was borne from a life seeing stammerers being portrayed in the most insensitive way possible on virtually every form of media I have ever watched. I cannot count the opportunities I turned down or denied myself; too many times I hid in silence instead of speaking my mind for fear of humiliating myself with this disability. For too long I thought a competent doctor should not stammer.
But finally meeting other stammerers and realising there is a whole community campaigning for our stuttered voice to be heard made me realise that I have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to apologise for. My stammer is a part of who I am, WHAT I say is more important than HOW I say it, and I will never allow it to silence me again.
This beautiful painting by my friend Paul shows me finally turning away from the darkness and facing the light, with a stammered word etched on my face but my gaze still turned forward and upwards, unashamed and uncowed. The hospital scrubs represent my new found pride in embracing myself as a doctor who stammers.”
Sveinn Snær Kristjánsson, Malbjorg (National Stuttering Association in Iceland).
- Sveinn Snær Kristjánsson. My Photo Project Shows That Stuttering Should Not Be Ashamed Of.